Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Blood Noir by Laurell K Hamilton

Oh gee. Where do I begin with this travesty of a "book"?

I made it to about page 20 (chapter 7 or so) of Blood Noir. Then something shiny caught my eye and I just couldn't be fussed to pick up BN again to read another 20 chapters (6 pages or so.) Heck, I couldn't even be fussed to pick it up and fling it across the room to bang into the wall.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic (sort of) about the chapter length but really, I'm begining to hate the 2 paragraph chapters. It's irritating beyond belief, especially since the first 5 chapters were about Nathan, Jason and Anita having sex. But it's not about sex. No no really! At least, that's what Anita would have us believe.

Thank goodness in the 20 eye blindingly horrid pages I managed to wade through, Anita never once "screamed [her] pleasure into [his] mouth" as she was pretty much guaranteed to do at least twice for each sexual encounter she's had in the last 3 books.

Ms. Hamilton, I like Anita. I like that she's kick ass and super supernatural. I enjoy the PLOTS of the earlier books. I like the necromancy, the vampire stuff, the Were stuff. Even when it's eyerollingly absurd. It's still fun. This...this...VOMIT that you've spewed onto precious tree pulp is just...well...gorge rising.

Go back to what worked, Ms. Hamilton. Please. Either that or dump Anita for awhile and go on with the other ideas you've had.

0 out of 5 berries for this one. Unless you like badly written graphic sex scenes with no eroticism whatsoever, give this one a miss. Even if you normally check 'em out of the library. Wasn't worth the 20 cents I had in late fees.

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